Today is the first day of my life that Michael Jackson hasn't been alive. That may sound weird to you, but I think of stuff like that a lot.
Now to a lot of people, MJ was the weird guy who may or may not have molested small boys, had over 50 plastic surgeries, and was just an all around weird guy. A lot of the criticism he received may have been brought on himself. But to millions of people, including myself, he was probably the greatest entertainer of all time. His contributions to music can not be overstated. For crying out loud people, his album "Thriller" is the highest selling album of all time! That is no small feat.
I remember the first time being fascinated by Michael. I was in 5th grade, and a movie came on network TV called "The Jacksons, An American Dream" (oddly enough it was on VH1 last weekend, the weekend before his death and I rewatched it). I remember watching this mini-series with my Mom (I think she wanted to be sure it was suitable for me) and being completely enamored with his performance of "Billy Jean" on the Motown 25th anniversary show. His dance step the moonwalk, looked like it defied the laws of physics. Immediately after watching it I taught myself to moonwalk. Pretty impressive for a 5th grader I might say. I didn't realize it then, but that was the beginning of many events in my life in which I was extremely impacted by music.
This is not to say I idolized the guy. Honestly, I wasn't allowed to listen to Michael Jackson's music when I was little. I remember my brother Jeremy had a Chipmunks CD with "Beat It" on it, and we weren't even allowed to listen to that. We also had the VHS tape of the movie "Free Willy" and Michael's song "Will You Be There" was on the soundtrack, and the music video was at the beginning of the movie (I've listened to this song about 10 times today on YouTube). We weren't allowed to watch that either. But when Mom and Dad would go out and leave us home, we'd watch it, sing along and dance, while one brother was the lookout just in case Mom and Dad came home early. I said all that to say, while I probably wouldn't even put MJ in my top 10 favorite music artists, there was something irresistible about his music to me, even as a little 5th grade boy.
This might be the understatement of the year, but something struck me as being very odd about Michael. And honestly, I don't think it had to do with the way he looked physically. To me, even as a kid, I could see pain and sadness in his eyes. Like he was hiding a painful secret that he didn't want anyone to know. This may be because of the abuse he suffered as a child at the hands of his father Joseph (I have a theory that all his plastic surgery was so he wouldn't be reminded of Joseph when he looked in the mirror), or maybe because he started doing music at age 5. Many people's thesis, and there is probably some validity to it, was that he never had a childhood, and as an adult he was trying to reclaim that. I can't imagine being in the public eye for nearly all my life, and as an 8 year old kid having people claw at me, trying to get at me (for lack of a better phrase). A line from the Jacksons movie that always stuck with me was in a scene when Michael was talking to his mother Katie. He said, "As far back as I can remember, it's all music."
I, like the rest of the world, was taken by surprise at his passing. There is so much to be sad about. First of all knowing I'll never get to see him in concert. I think it would have been great to see him moonwalk in person, with my own eyes. It's also sad to know he had 3 kids, all 12 or younger, who will grow up without a father. Sadder still, he died a man who was the butt of a lot of jokes, who looked nothing like the teenager the world knew from the Jackson 5, and was, in my opinion, at least once extorted out of millions of dollars. But to me the saddest thing is, he epitomizes the scripture in Mark 8:36 that says, "What shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and lose his own soul." If Michael Jackson isn't the perfect embodiment of that scripture, I don't know who is. During the 1980's, he was easily the most famous person in the world. He had fame, millions upon millions of dollars, 13 Grammy Awards, and countless other riches and accolades. But nothing about Michael Jackson indicated to me that he had Jesus. His family were devout Jehovah's Witnesses, and I had even heard he owned a fat suit so he could go out into public and witness without being recognized. That along with the fact that he was very much involved in charitable giving and philanthropy, would make one on the outside think Michael had done enough good in his life to get into Heaven. Maybe it's "Human Nature" to think that way. But as I hope you the reader know, our good deeds will never be enough to outweigh the enormity of our sins. In fact, God considers our BEST deeds to be as "filthy rags."
I have often dreamed of being a music star. I love everything about music. There may have even been times when I would have traded lives with Michael Jackson in a second to get to play in front of 100,000 fans screaming my name. But as the hymn says, "I'd rather have Jesus."
No comments:
Post a Comment